okaeeee 4 more days..
im missing you loads.
wakaka have been talking to u on phone these days.
like e good old days.
cant wait to hug and kiss u always.
indigestion nausea as usual
i hate this feeling la.
sucks.
jus finish the things that have to hand in tml
gonna pack things soon.
<3
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i feel kinda upset.
u wan me on friday,
i help u on friday,
now u wan me to switch weekends.
i switch weekends.
i dun seems to have a choice myself.
maybe like always i seemed to be an easy going person
or is it becos u prefer her more than me.
kinda makes me wonder alot.
------
hmm as for bf,
i dunno how to tell you how i feel or
wad i want.
cos i jolly well noes that wad i want is
sth we cannot afford
sth we wuldnt be doing
sth we are not gonna do in yrs to come,
sth not easy
its a long term thing,
it jus seems so impossible to me
and yet how wuld i convince u when it sounds so impossible to me
after days of thinking.
and how wuld i convince myself to tell u or talk to you about it,
when i jolly well noe wadever u are gonna tell me and whichever options u choosing.
i know it, yet why cant i let it go.
argh.
-------
next, im getting tired of studying.
idk is sp that fast paced or my life very fast paced,
or i really lose the passion and interest in studying
and i need some time to rest and carry on later.
but i just dun think time allows me to do so,
so wad if i dun study wad am i gonna do using that time.
i dun noe either.
so wad shld i do,
im like tiring out,
life in school seems so draining.
not becos of the competition not becos of the people,
becos my attitude isnt right, my heart and mind is not there.
i just dun feel like keep running in this race, i feel like sit down and rest,
before i can pace myself and run again.
i used to give all out in studies so as to not disappoint anione,
so as to give myself a stable job in e future,
but now i reallie think i need soem rest,
need to change my life and slow down my pace
but still , u think its posssible?
i dun think so
i dun believe in it myself,
i noe it sounds contradicting.
but hey, reality is so cruel okae,
once u stop its like u are behind pple,
and how will pple look at u,
and u think anione beside me allows me to do this for an invalid reason?
sigh
-----
life seems to be back to the down down down fallll....
i neeed a little breather,
i need to rest,
i wan to think abt stuff,
and do the things i wan to do,
instead of work study sleep eat.
i hate that.